Learning, working, the loss of friends and the countdown to X-Mas

I spent the last week at home. Basically planned to learn maths but my few attempts wasn't very successful, sadly.
So I'm preparing myself for the office. There will be lot things to do after one week of absence. I hope I can focus on the important things.
But there are too many other things in my mind. First I was able to sort out some financial things after struggling.
This situation was my fault and I have to fix it on my own. If you are confronted with this kind of problems you often can't think about other things.
I just wanted to have some respect and understanding for this private problem. Apparently some friendship can not hold this on our shoulders. As known I'm someone who's listening to everyone and everyone's problems. I'm not the one who's talking about my own problems. I just need some silence, isolation or my way to look in the future. My future is hopefully the person I love. Isn't it normal to pull at this future? To try everything this better future will happen? Shouldn't real friends try to support each other and is it that hard to believe that someone it's normal to talk less to each other?
I just feel sad but I really hope you will find a bright, delighted future and people which are more worth to be called as "friend" than me.
Anyway it's time to look in the future.

So I hope I have this bright future with the person I love. We made some bigger steps forward lately and this made me very happy. We've visited some Adventmärkte last week including the Mostviertler Perchtenlauf in Gresten (homepage for more info).
I'm looking forward to celebrate christmas this year as part of a new family.
I hope you've enjoyed the last holidays and keep smiling, it's better for this sad world outside. :)